A young man couldn’t decide which girl to marry. He liked one girl, but he really liked another one named Maria, too. He decided to ask his friend for advice. “How do you make important decisions?” he asked his friend. “Well, I go to church,” replied his friend. “Then I look up and pray and…
A couple, both 78, went to a sex therapist’s office in Winter Haven, Florida. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you ” The man asked, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse ” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple had finished, the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way…
Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so special. She asked me out…
A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: “Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving…
Sharing is caring! A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked. “Why do people in anger shout at each other?” Disciples thought for a while, one of them said,…
Lexo më shumë “Why Do People Shout at Each Other When They Get Angry?” »
The game warden asked the man, “May I see your fishing license please?” “Naw, sir,” replied the redneck. “I don’t need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish.” “Pet fish?!” “Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o’mine down to the lake and let ’em swim ’round for a…
Lexo më shumë “A redneck with a bucket full of live fish was approached by a Texas game warden” »
Sharing is caring! Three rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower: Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, ‘Well, someone should go and tell his wife. Donnie says, ‘OK, I’m pretty good…
Sharing is caring! A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, “Mommy, I have to pee.” The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee’ just tell me that you have…
Sharing is caring! Week after week, the man came to his pastor with a big problem. “When I go to bed, I can’t sleep because I’m afraid of monsters under my bed. I know it’s silly, but I can’t help it.” The pastor recommended prayer, reading the Bible, singing hymns, keeping the lights on, but…
Sharing is caring! A man, reading a book by candle-light, came across a sentence which stated that men with long beards were fools. This distressed the man because he had a long beard himself. He had always thought the beard made him look scholarly and dignified, but now he began to wonder if perhaps he…
During a shortage of eligible men, a bear, a pig and a rabbit are called up for national service. While waiting for the medical examinations, they all admit they’re terrified of being killed. ‘I’m ungainly and pink,’ says the pig, truthfully. ‘The enemy will see me a mile off – so I decided to chop…
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out…
A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree: He called a gorilla removal service and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. “Now listen carefully.” He told the homeowner. “I’m going to climb the tree and poke…
A boy is visiting his girlfriend’s home for the first time. He’s looking for a drinking glass when he notices a row of cups in the cabinet, each of them inscribed with what seems like half words. He picks one of them down just as girlfriend’s mom walks in, and he asks her what the…
As soon as the newlyweds returned from their honeymoonthe young bride called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away.“How did everything go?” her mom asked. “Oh, mother,” she began, “The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time. But, mother, on our way back, Andy started using really horrible language. Stuff…
Lexo më shumë “A newlywed couple returned from their honeymoon” »
Sharing is caring! One night the Hodja looked into his well and saw there the reflection of the full moon. “Oh no!” he exclaimed. “The moon has fallen from the sky and into my well!” He ran into his house and returned with a hook attached to a rope. He then threw the hook into…
A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: “Did you find the shampoo?” He answers, “Yes, but I’m not sure what to do…it’s for dry hair, and I’ve already wet mine.” ———————– A blonde man sees a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope “DO NOT BEND.” He spends…
You should never ignore words of advice from people who are qualified to give it – otherwise things can turn out like in this story. A man on a flight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to use the bathroom. He headed over to the men’s room, nervously tapping his foot on…
Lexo më shumë “He is allowed use the ladies’ room – but ends up in hospital” »
A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland.She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: “Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?” “Of course my child, What can I do for you?” “Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which…
A little girl says to her mother: “Mummy, when you were away at work a strange lady came around”… “Not now,” says Mummy. “Wait until Daddy gets home.” So they wait until Daddy gets home, and then Mummy says “Now dear, what were you saying about Daddy and the strange lady?” And Daddy starts to…
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above…
An old man and an old woman are together every night. They aren’t married, but for years and years they have spent every night together. All they ever do is sit on the couch buck unclothed and watch TV while she holds his tool. Every night, like clockwork, they do this sit on the couch…
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialling, his 4-year-old…
👇🏾 THE JOKE 👇🏾 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to go through to Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them, “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner, your way across the bridge to Heaven will be decided.” The first guy says, “I was with my…
Lexo më shumë “Funny Joke: Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to go through to Heaven” »
Sharing is caring! Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him. He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:…
It was three o’clock in the morning,… And the receptionist at a posh hotel was just dozing off when a little old lady comes running towards her screaming. “Please come quickly!” she yelled, “I just saw a naked man outside my window!” The receptionist immediately rushes up to the old lady’s room. “Where is he?”…
Lexo më shumë “Funny Joke: The old lady complains that a naked man is outside her window” »
Sharing is caring! During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn’t). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, “Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.” He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I…
Sharing is caring! A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour. The husband is behind the wheel.His wife suddenly looks across at him and speaks in a clear voice. “I know we have been married for over twenty years, but I want a divorce. The husband says nothing,…
👇 Read The Joke Of The Day 👇 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ The day before Thanksgiving, a 60 year old man in Miami calls up his son in New York and says, “Listen son, your mother and I are getting divorced. 38 years of misery is enough.” “Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams. His dad…
Sharing is caring! An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighborhood. They we’re celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and decided to walk down the street to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the old desk they’d shared and where he had carved “I…
Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. … Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that…
Lexo më shumë “Best divorce letter ever. This is Hilarious.” »
😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 ——————————————————— The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the A90 near Boston recently. Initially there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu. The…
Sharing is caring! Father told his 3 sons when he sent them to the university: “I feel it is my duty to provide you with the best education possible, and you do not owe me anything for providing that. However, I want you to appreciate it. As a token, I want each of you to…
A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers: “Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?” The husband laughs and says: “A gorgeous Italian girl!” The woman kept quiet…
Lexo më shumë “He wanted an indecent present – so she brought him back a surprise” »
👇🏾 THE JOKE 👇🏾 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.” The other guy responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!” The first guy says, “So am…
Lexo më shumë “Funny Joke: Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar” »
Sharing is caring! A fellow stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop full of customer and said, “About 2 hours.” The man left. A few days later, the same fellow stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long…
👇🏾 THE JOKE 👇🏾 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ Steve invites his mother over for dinner. During the dinner, his mother can’t help but notice that Steve’s roommate Peter is very tall and handsome. She had long suspected that the two of them were more than roommates, so she asked her son if they were a couple. But Steve…
Lexo më shumë “Funny Joke: The Mystery Of The Missing Soup Ladle” »
The CIA has three candidates, two men and a woman, for one assassin position. On the final day of testing, the CIA proctor leads the first male candidate to a large steel door and hands him a gun. “We must know that you will follow our instructions, regardless of the circumstances,” he explains. “Inside this…
Lexo më shumë “The CIA has three candidates for one assassin position” »
〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ A wife dragged her husband out on Black Friday to attend all the sales. Midway through one particular mall, the wife noticed that her husband was missing. Annoyed, she called him on his cellphone. The wife said, “Where are you, you know we have lots of sales to get to?!” He replied, “You remember…
Sharing is caring! The Argentinean golfer Roberto de Vicenzo went to the parking lot to get his car after having won an important tournament. At that moment, a woman approached him. After congratulating him for his victory, she told him her son was at the edge of death and that she had no money to…