The Diagnosis.

1. The Countdown
The doctor walks in, looks grave, and says, “I’m afraid I have bad news. You’re dying and don’t have much time left.”
The man panics: “Oh no! How long have I got?!”
The doctor sighs: “Ten.”
The man cries: “Ten?! Ten what? Months? Weeks?!”
The doctor looks at his watch: “Nine…”

2. The Mystery Pain
A man goes to the doctor and complains, “Doctor, it’s awful! Everywhere I touch, it hurts! I touch my shoulder—OUCH! I touch my knee—OUCH! I touch my forehead—OUCH!”
The doctor examines him for a second and says, “I know exactly what’s wrong with you. You’ve broken your finger.”

3. The Panic Room
Patient 1: “Why did you run away from the operating table?”
Patient 2: “The nurse kept saying, ‘Don’t get nervous, be strong, it’s just a small operation.’”
Patient 1: “So? That’s comforting!”
Patient 2: “She was talking to the surgeon!”

4. The Mental Institution
A doctor draws a fake door on the wall at a mental institution and says, “Whoever wants to escape, use that door.” Everyone rushes for it, except one guy sitting at the back with a smug smile.
The doctor thinks, Finally, a cure! He asks, “Why didn’t you run for the door?”
The guy whispers, “They don’t know I’m the one who has the key.”

5. The Side Effects
A 90-year-old woman complains: “Doctor, I can’t stop farting. They don’t smell and make no noise, but it’s constant.”
He gives her pills and tells her to return in a week.
She comes back: “Doctor, what did you do?! Now they really smell!”
The doctor nods: “Great! Now that your sinuses are cleared up, let’s talk about your hearing…”

👇 Which one got the biggest laugh out of you? Drop the number in the comments!