A man boards a plane with six children.

A man boards a plane with six children.

After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks,

Are all of those children yours?”

He replies,

“No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.”

A man boards a plane with six children in tow, each of them holding tightly to a different piece of his clothing as though they were attached by invisible strings. The man, looking slightly frazzled, scans the cabin for his seats.

The flight attendant greets him with a wide smile. “Welcome aboard, sir! Can I help you find your seats?”

The man stares at the six little heads, all wildly bouncing in different directions, and says, “Uh, yes, please. I think we’re supposed to have row 23… but I believe row 23 is actually a mobile amusement park right now.”

The attendant chuckles, “Six little ones, all yours?”

He sighs dramatically. “Yes, and none of them are mine. I just found them in the airport, so I thought, why not? What’s a few extra children in a metal tube flying at 30,000 feet?”

The kids immediately start singing the “Baby Shark” song in unison, except for one who has decided to loudly explain why the captain shouldn’t wear a hat. As they make their way to their seats, one of the children grabs the back of a passenger’s seat and pulls it back, causing a domino effect of seat recliners. A flight attendant rushes over, but the damage is already done.

The man, sitting down and finally buckling his seatbelt, looks around, smiles, and says, “I hope you’re all ready for the ride of your lives.”

The child next to him hands him a crayon and a napkin. “I drew you a picture of a jet!”

The man squints at it. “This… this is a picture of a giraffe in a tutu standing on a cactus.”

The child nods proudly. “Yep! That’s a giraffe. It’s flying the plane.”

Before he can comment, a kid in the seat behind them starts loudly explaining the intricate workings of the airplane’s engine to a very confused, elderly lady sitting next to him. The man smiles faintly and mutters, “Maybe we should just have taken a car.”

But then, just as the plane starts to taxi down the runway, the kids collectively start chanting, “We’re going to the moon!” One of the little ones stands up, arms raised dramatically, and declares, “Prepare for liftoff, Captain!” The rest of them join in, and before he knows it, the whole plane is filled with the sound of tiny astronauts preparing for takeoff.

He leans back in his seat, watches the sky, and decides, “Maybe this is the best seat in the house after all.”

And just when he thinks he can finally relax, one of the kids turns to him and says, “Do you know why the airplane can’t sit down?”

He groans. “Why?”

“Because it’s already on a flight!”

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