An old man proposed to an old woman.

# The Three Little Pigs Go to Dinner

During the meal, the man gave her a few admiring glances and then finally worked up the courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?”

After about six seconds of “careful consideration,” she said, “Yes. Yes, I will.”

The meal ended, and after some pleasant conversation, they went to their respective places.

The next morning, the man woke up in a mild panic. *Did she say ‘yes’ or ‘no’?* He could not remember. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t conjure up the memory. Not even a faint trace of it.

Frightened and embarrassed, he went to the phone and called her.

First, he beat around the bush, telling her that his memory wasn’t quite as sharp as it used to be. Then he reviewed the wonderful evening they had shared. Finally, summoning all his courage, he asked, “When I asked you to marry me last night, did you say ‘yes’ or ‘no’?”

He was beyond delighted to hear her sweet voice reply, “Yes, I did! I said yes with all my heart.”

Relieved, he let out a huge breath. Then he continued…

…“I’m so glad you called, because I couldn’t remember *who* asked me!”

### The Farmer and the Inspectors

There was a farmer who had a large herd of pigs.

One day, an inspector came to the farm and asked the farmer, “What do you use to feed your pigs?”

“Well, I give them acorns, corn, kitchen scraps, things like that. Why?”

“Because I’m from the Animal Protection Association, and you shouldn’t feed them garbage. That’s inhumane!”

With that, he fined the farmer a hefty sum.

A few days later, another official arrived and asked the exact same question.

The wary farmer replied, “Well, I feed them very well. I give them fresh salmon, imported caviar, jumbo shrimp, and prime steak. Why do you ask?”

“Because I’m from the United Nations, and I think it’s an absolute outrage that you feed your pigs like royalty when millions of humans are dying with nothing to eat!”

And just like that, he fined the farmer too.

A few days after that, a third man walked up to the fence and asked the same question.

The exhausted and hesitant farmer thought for a long moment, shrugged, and answered: “Well, I just walk out there every morning and hand five dollars to each pig so they can go buy whatever they want.”

### The Three Little Pigs Go to Dinner

Three Little Pigs went out to a fancy restaurant for dinner one night.

The waiter walked up to their table with a notepad and a smile to take their drink orders.

“I’ll have a Sprite,” said the first little piggy.

“I’ll take a Coke,” said the second little piggy.

“I want water—lots and lots of water, please,” said the third little piggy.

The waiter nodded, jotted it down, brought out the round of drinks, and returned to the table to ask for their dinner orders.

The first piggy looked at the menu and said, “I think I’ll have the roast beef.”

The second piggy said, “I’ll take the pork chops.”

The third piggy closed his menu, looked up at the waiter, and said, “I’ll just have a salad.”

The waiter raised an eyebrow in surprise, looking down at the massive amount of water on the table and the light meal. “Just a salad? With all that water?”

The third little piggy sighed and patted his belly. “Well, yeah… somebody’s gotta stay behind to build the brick house!”

Related Posts

My sister rested a hand on her belly and announced she was carrying my husband’s child, then asked me to give up the house “for the baby.” So I revealed a secret neither of them saw coming: my husband was sterile. His face went white as he turned to her and whispered, “Then whose baby is it?”

They sat across the table expecting me to sign away half of my life to support their betrayal. My husband and sister thought this dinner was their…

My parents spent $60k on my sister’s wedding, but only gave me $2k. They thought I’d be embarrassed—until they saw where the ceremony was actually being held.

We were standing in the center of the room, swaying to our first wedding dance melody. Fifty years of history were supposed to be behind us. My…

My Husband Offered to Stay Home with the Baby While I Went Back to Work – Everything Seemed Perfect Until His Mom Called Me

When my husband offered to stay home with our baby so I could return to work, I thought I’d hit the jackpot. Clean house, happy baby, homemade…

Passenger disrupts 8-hour flight — Captain shuts her down after landing

Logan, a 27-year old six-two inches tall professional swimmer, was returning from a freestyle swimming competition. The flight from London to New York was about to last…

How I Missed Saying Goodbye to My Father

For twelve years, my stepfather made sure I knew exactly where I stood in his life—outside of it. He was a wealthy man who guarded his success…

I Took My Little Daughter to Visit My Girlfriend – I Couldn’t Believe What She Found in Her Room

When my four-year-old daughter, Chloe, begged me to leave my girlfriend Lily’s house, I knew something was wrong. Her fear was unlike anything I’d seen before, and…