A cat passes on and arrives in heaven. At the gates, God smiles and says, “You’ve been a good cat all your life. Whatever you want, just ask.”
The cat replies, “Well, I lived with a poor family on a farm and always had to sleep on hard wooden floors.
I’d love a soft place to rest.”
“Say no more,” says God.
Poof! A giant, fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, a group of mice arrives in heaven. God gives them the same offer.
“All the lives we were chased by cats, dogs, even brooms!” the mice squeak.
“If only we had roller skates, we wouldn’t have to run anymore.”
Poof! Each mouse is given shiny little roller skates, and they speed off, thrilled. A week later, God checks in on the cat, who’s stretched out in bliss on his pillow.
“How’s everything going?
Are you happy here?”
The cat yawns, stretches, and smiles, “Happy? I’ve never been happier.
And those Meals on Wheels you keep sending over… they’re the best!”
LOL!! Four Cats
Four men boast about the intelligence of their cats.
The first was an engineer, the second was an accountant, the third was a chemist, and the fourth was a government employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, “T-square, do your stuff.” T-Square walked over to the desk, pulled out a pen and paper, and quickly drew a circle, square, and triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better.
He called his cat and said, “Spreadsheet, do your stuff.” Spreadsheet entered the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.
He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that it was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure stood up, went to the refrigerator, took out a quart of milk, got a 10-ounce glass from the cupboard, and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that it was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the government employee and said, “What can your cat do? The government employee called his cat and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.”
Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, pooped on the paper, pounced on the other three cats, claiming he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers’ Compensation, and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave. And that’s why everyone wants to work for the government!!!
